How Leaders Bounce off Rock Bottom

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

welcome to the different thinking podcast where creativity is welcome conventional wisdom is tried and tested and growth and development are nourished so that someday you can help to change the world now here's your host zach hensrood

SPEAKER_01: 0:22

have you ever hit rock bottom i mean i'm sure Thank you so much for joining us. And really, I think it's important right out of the gate to define what rock bottom is. It has been defined throughout movies and books and motivational speaking. I mean, I think of Les Brown. Les Brown will always say, or I've heard him say multiple times, if you can get knocked down, but you can look up, you can get up. And that is the most important thing. It doesn't matter if you get knocked down that you hit the ground. It's that you can bounce back up. The philosopher and Philadelphia boxer Rocky in Rocky 6 says it's not about how hard you can get hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and still keep going forward. So this idea of rock bottom, again, is not unique. It's not abnormal. It is actually a very normal thing that people will face throughout their lives. And especially as leaders, we will face some sort of level of rock bottom. And so in this episode, I wanted to share, while we will, you and I as leaders, face rock bottom, How do we bounce back? How do we get back up? But I want to spend a little bit more time in this definition because I think it's important while you may be listening to this and you try to apply it only to business or only to financial. I think that's a mistake because we're made up of much more than just what we do for a living or how much money we make. And I know that In this podcast, while this is centered towards leaders who are folks that lead organizations like businesses or nonprofits or even sports teams, that it does come down to more of the process and of the organization on top of the financial benefits. I think it's also important to understand that we're much more than that. Now, any personal development organization person, coach, trainer, consultant, guru. They all have their differing buckets or circles or beings of what makes up you. And they all have around four to six of those that make up a single person. And when I laid it out on my paper here, I just laid it out as the physical. I laid it out as family. I laid it out as business. I laid it out as financial, and then I laid it out as spiritual. So I have five rings or buckets or beings that make up an individual. And while you may say, wait a minute, business and financial, they're kind of hand in hand. Well, while they could be, even as leaders, we can't make that assumption because there are folks on here that their financial wellness does not meet their business wellness and vice versa. Meaning that they may be a manager that will still be compensated even if the business is struggling. Or if they are struggling personally or they're struggling in their financial being, the business may still be in a operable place or a good place. It doesn't always coincide with all levels of leaders. A lot of times when you go, wait, no, they should be together. That's really like a business owner or someone that is benefited for how well the business processes. Another thing is, is while I definitely believe that when you hit rock bottom and in a certain level, it actually permeates in other levels or other beings or other buckets, such as stuff in business. There's been operations of business that have not gone well to the point that it has felt like the business has hit a rock bottom. Well, it permeated into my personal life where my physical life, my physical being, where all of a sudden I am now not as disciplined when it comes to my eating or exercising. The stress, the strain, the focus, maybe even the worry, right? The anxiety that the business hitting a place where it could be defined as a rock bottom has caused my anxiety physical being to hit a rock bottom. And, but I know like some will say, when you start to hit a rock bottom in one of these, it may cause another one to grow. Like my coach, Brian Buffini would say, Hey, if you're having struggles in the financial world, your spiritual world grows really, really quickly. And that can be true as well. Is that while these are While these beings or these buckets do get affected with each other, there can be growth amongst hitting rock bottom. Another thing I wanted to cover before getting into how we can make a change or how you and I can make a change as leaders is I want to talk about this thought and this idea that it's not all just one level. When I talk about rock bottom, rock bottom is that is the lowest level that you emotionally and mentally can can persevere too. So when challenges arise, obstacles, difficulty, stress, anxiety, there is a certain level, and it's not a physical level, you can't see it, but internally you can sense it. There is a level that once you get to that low emotionally or mentally, that voice in the back of your head, your inner critic says, It's time to quit. It's time to stop. It's time to give up. And it's not just a whisper and it's not just a normal voice. It is screaming. It's where you can't, if you were working out, it's where you can't physically lift your arms or it's where you have fallen down and you need help getting back up. I think of, I've seen recently videos of marathon runners that their legs are spasming out. And I want you to think about that emotionally and mentally. You just can't take another step, another breath. You can't move. That's rock bottom. That is the lowest level of perseverance that you can go. Now, when things are going good, you don't have to worry about rock bottom. It doesn't exist. You are flying high, but when things are going bad, when they're going below expectation and it, the trajectory continues to fall. Well, this is where you get to this place. Now I subscribe to rock bottom is like an ocean floor, right? When I start to think about rock bottom, it's like an ocean floor. Perseverance is a muscle. It is something that you can't go zero to 100. It's a muscle. It's a mental and emotional muscle that you have to work out. And so with perseverance, with this idea of getting to that place of breaking down, Uh, you have to, to work that out. Uh, and so there's differing levels, just like an ocean floor. You know, when you start to step off the beach and into the water, the, the, the bottom starts to, you know, slope down, but it, it is one of those things that, um, it there's, there's differing levels. If I was out in the there's cliffs and there's, it's not always a, a, a gradual slope. And, and so there's some extreme moments where rock bottom, where you will, where you will go past that, that place of comfortability and get to a place where you just want to give up and you just want to quit. And so actually what inspired this episode was Brianna Weist wrote a book called the mountain is you. I've read it a A very, very good book about self-sabotaging and how to overcome that. But in chapter one, she hits this idea on rock bottom and it is the best thought in and around what happens when you hit rock bottom. And she said this in her book. She said, rock bottom is very often where we begin on our healing journey. This is not because we suddenly see the light, not because our worst days are magically transmuted into some type of epiphany and not because someone saves us from our own madness. Rock bottom becomes a turning point because it is only at that point that most people think I never want to feel this way again. And that got me thinking, Well, obviously when we hit rock bottom or when you and I hit rock bottom, we have to make a change. So I was recently in a conference with Brian Buffini and he shared the four reasons why people make a change. And as I started to study these for this episode, I realized that this is exactly how we bounce off. You and I as leaders bounce off rock bottom. Now they're going to be varying levels, just like I said, rock bottom, rock is varying levels. You cannot compare your rock bottom with somebody else, because I will tell you this truth. When you think you have it the absolute worst, where you feel like you're at the bottom of the bottom, I can guarantee you that there's somebody in this world wishing and praying to be at the level that you're at. And if you looked at the level of rock bottom that they're at, you're like, no, thank you. I am glad to be right here. That's the danger in comparing people. Now, obviously, there's other people who are nowhere near rock bottom that you're looking up and saying, I want to be like them. But that's not how life works. You have your own journey. You have your own way. And you've got to go that way. No one else can walk that journey for you. And so these four ways of reasons why people make a change are They're varying differences. Like some are going to seem like, well, at rock bottom, that doesn't make sense. But I'm going to share with you why they do. So number one, reason number one, people make a change. When they see enough, they're inspired to. You know, sometimes when we hit rock bottom, when... you and I see the change that we want to make that are in other people and we see how it benefits them, then it inspires you and I to make that change. We can be inspired to make that change. We can, together, you and I, we can make the change because of what we see. It's very hard in rock bottom sometimes if it's a very deep depth of rock bottom to be able to see the change. But if it's something where things are just going outside of expectation, you can be inspired by others. And I would encourage you, look to others that you would like to go to. Now, I know that sounded like basically I was contradicting myself. It's okay to be inspired by other people sometimes. But don't compare yourself to other people. There's a difference. See, I can look towards an Olympian, but I'm not going to go in like an Olympian runner. Usain Bolt. I can look and be inspired by his training regimen, by his consistency, his discipline, his focus. But I'm not going to go run around the track and compare myself to his outcomes. I can be inspired, but I don't have to compare what I'm doing to him. If that makes sense, because that's where the difference is. You can be inspired by people, but you have to walk your own journey. You're not going to always get the same outcomes that they will, but success does leave clues that you can be successful in your own journey. And so when you see enough, that will actually inspire you to make the change. Number two, when they learn enough, They want to. This got me really thinking. I had to take a time to ponder this because this idea of when they've learned enough, they want to. And what I realize is this is that there is really, to my knowledge, no great one size fits all school that I can go to to learn everything I need to learn about leadership. There's really not. I mean, there's different ways to grow as a leader. You could join the United States military if you're in the United States. You could go to business school. You could take leadership courses. But with leadership, it is also very, very unique in that you're always learning. There's not one source that you can just... take and use and say, I have now learned it all. So as you're going and as things start to unravel, or as you start to head towards rock bottom, one of the tenants that I've learned in life is that action alleviates anxiety. So as things are not working, it is the ability to go and learn and act on what you learn that can make the change. And so, uh, when, uh, people start to learn enough, that's when they want to, that's when they're like, ah, okay, you know what? For years, I know I've been putting this stuff in my body that has not been serving or feeding it. And now that I've learned the health problems that come with this, now I'm going to make a change. And so you can see, or you can learn, and that can help you make those changes. Or number three, when they receive enough. Now, when I heard receive, Uh, it's when they've received enough, they're able to. So I immediately went to money. I mean, that's where my mind went. So when they earn enough, obviously you can then be able to make a change more money while it creates more problems. It also creates more ability to change your circumstances really, really quickly. But. that's not necessarily exactly what Brian was getting at is he was getting at as well as not only money, but counsel or coaching as you receive more than you'll be able to, as you, as you get, as you get that, that can consultation as, as you get the coaching, as you get the information, as you get the counsel. Now you can see around that corner and you're able to make that change. And so these three are very what I would call on the lighter end of making changes. It really requires action and effort on your behalf. You need to you need to be out there looking or learning or receiving that information. You need to you need to create that change. That's what those three tell me. There's three that you can control. Now, this last one is exactly where I think when you truly hit rock bottom. And what Brianna said in her book was this. When they hurt enough, they have to. When they hurt enough, they have to. And if I read that paragraph again, it says when we begin our healing journey. See, the interesting thing is you cannot heal if you are not hurt. If you are not hurt. There's no reason for healing. I think of all my joints or I think of as I age, there are certain things that hurt that I'm looking for healing. But the other joints or the other things that don't hurt, I don't need healing. I don't need to heal something that isn't broken or that doesn't hurt. And so... This one right here is when they hurt enough, they have to. This is like the moments that we see inspiring in all the movies that characters that get written in and around that hit great difficulty. I was just watching with my family, The Cinderella Man with Russell Crowe. And he's fighting Max Bear, right? And he gets knocked down and knocked down to the point that he's knocked out and he sees his little girl. And it's something where, you know, he realizes why he is fighting and it's for bread and milk. I was also watching warrior, which is with Tom Hardy and it's a MMA fighting movie. And it's about two brothers. And there was a scene where one of the brothers who's really down on his luck. I mean, A house is going to be taken. His wife and him work between each other. Three jobs. He just got suspended from one of his jobs. He has two kids. And the bank has said, hey, I'm taking your house. You can see how this all builds up. And he's fighting somebody that he should not even be in the ring with. And what I mean by that is his skills do not match the person that he is fighting. That person he's fighting should beat him 10 out of 10 times. And he's able to survive two rounds. It's a three round fight. And his trainer looks at him and just says, Hey, Hey, uh, it's, it's, it's time. You know, I can just throw in the towel and you can go home. And in this scene, his wife is also sitting in the crowd and she's looking at him and he's like, go get, go get your wife. And, and I'll throw in the towel. You just go get your wife. You guys head home and go home. And it's okay. You don't have to do this anymore. You don't have to fight this anymore. Just, just go home. But remember, When you leave, they're going to take the house. I mean, that's, what's at stake is that while you can leave this and you can walk away from this, they're going to take your safety. They're going to take your house. And he goes, you have to knock this guy out or you lose the house. And in that moment, you just see this, a mental transition, this connection that this pain, this that's inside him is burning so hot that he has to make the change, that he has to go into that fight, that last round with so much passion that he has to beat somebody that should beat him 10 out of 10 times. And honestly, as leaders, those are those moments where when that pain gets incredibly hard, you have to make the change. Now it's not, oh, it'd be nice to... It's not that it's easy to. It has to become the rallying cry. It might be where you have to make those moves in your organization. You have to move staff around. It may be that you have to cut expenses or you have to change programs that while people like, they're just not serving the overall purpose. When you hit rock bottom, you have to make those changes. Thank you. Thank you. It is one of the most life-changing things you can ever experience. It becomes the foundation upon which you build everything else. See, the thing is, is as you bounce back from rock bottom, which you can, by the way, especially when you have that resolve of, I never want to feel this way again. I'm going to make the changes, not because I get to, because I have to. And again, In it, you can start to build the foundation that you never experience this again. Now, you will experience rock bottom again, but it could be a different level. You can start to build the buffers. You could start to build a process or a system that would prohibit you from ever coming back to this place again. See, as leaders, we have to constantly evolve. That's why I created this podcast. We have to constantly evolve in learning more because that is what's required of us. See, people are looking to us as leaders to have this figured out. I know I've created episodes in and around this. This idea of I suck. You know, what happens when reality hits or a grieving leader? What happens when that happens or when something's not on mission? How do you make a change? There's all sorts of resources out there to help you. But here's one thing you have to promise me is that you're not going to stay on rock bottom. Don't quit right in front of me as I'm talking with you. I have a board, a letter board, and on there it says, don't Ring the bell. And that is in inspiration of the Navy SEAL training where they have a bell in the center of all their training. And all you have to do is ring that bell and everything stops. Everything becomes immediately, quote unquote, easier, which it doesn't. But that's the sense is that all you got to do is ring that bell. So here it is right now. What I'm looking for you to do is to take out piece of paper because I believe putting on paper makes it real. Make that declaration. If you're at rock bottom, make that declaration because this could be the start, the very start of a foundation that truly turns your organization, your business, your team, wherever you're leading around and truly creates something incredibly special. Well, I really appreciate you listening to this episode. Let me know what you like, what you're not liking. I have so much content that I'm excited to share with you and bring it down the pipeline here. And I would like to tailor it to what you're looking for. But until next time, remember today is a great day to apply different thinking. Take care.

SPEAKER_00: 25:46

Thank you for listening to the Different Thinking Podcast. Please follow the show on YouTube, Instagram and Facebook. Don't forget to rate and review us. And remember, today is a great day for you to apply different thinking. Thanks again for listening.